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Mara execs innocent until proven guilty, but OK to assume ex-PetroSaudi...
KUALA LUMPUR: Today sources close to the PM announced Mara executives implicated in a Melbourne property scam were to be presumed innocent until proven guilty, unlike a certain former PetroSaudi...
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Fitch gives PM’s Bank Account AAA+ Rating
KUALA LUMPUR: Ratings Agency Fitch did Malaysians proud last night by awarding the Prime Minister’s private bank account an excellent AAA+ rating. “In light of a recent Wall Street Journal report, the...
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Nation Celebrates The Return Of Muhyiddin’s Balls
KUALA LUMPUR: Last night at the Cheras UMNO AGM, the nation was delighted to see the long-lost testicles of Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin have again been recovered from the bottom of...
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MACC says RM2.6Bil from kindhearted donors interfering in our democracy
MALAYSIA: Last night, the MACC officers not detained for trying to leak information, confirmed the RM2.6bil channeled into Datuk Seri Najib Razak’s account was not from 1MDB, but generous donations...
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Drinking Coconut Milk Makes Kids Stay Up Trees Warns TV3 Expert
KUALA LUMPUR: Following their advice to mothers that giving babies cow milk instead of breast milk will make them bad-tempered like cows, TV3 motherhood expert Fatima received field reports from...
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After political funding committee, PM suggests giving contraceptives to...
PUTRAJAYA: Over the weekend the PM dusted off his reformist chops by announcing some bold new policies to regain the people’s trust after RM2.6bilion was ‘donated’ into his personal bank account....
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Be immovable like the Malaysian PM, ISIL leader tells fighters
DAMASCUS: Despondent ISIL fighters struggling to occupy Syria took heart today after a leader suggested they emulate the inspiring stubbornness of Malaysia’s not resigning Prime Minister. “Look at...
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PM Sues The World
KUALA LUMPUR: In a landmark legal case, today lawyers representing Malaysia’s Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak filed a suit against the planet. “The PM believes he is a victim of a global conspiracy to...
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Today’s haze a sign we should reject Bersih-style govt transparency, say red...
PUTRAJAYA: On the eve of their controversial rally, pro-government red shirt protesters said the country’s worsening air quality was a sign the nation should trust the government. “Just like offshore...
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UMNO Cybertroopers Complain Facebook Unlike Button Doubles Workload
MALAYSIA: Today UMNO cybertroopers spoke out against the announcement Facebook will soon introduce an unlike button. “I’m busy enough liking and sharing pro-UMNO posts,” said an enraged keyboard...
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Jamal says not leading, ‘only middleman’ at sun bear panda enclosure zoo protest
ZOO NEGARA: Today Sungai Besar Umno division chief and red shirt leader Jamal Yunos warned if sun bears were not given access to Zoo Negara’s multi-million ringgit air-conditioned panda enclosure,...
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Deputy Minister Tajuddin announces hilarious ‘slap Chinese’ stand-up comedy tour
KUALA LUMPUR: Ever since bootleg audio recordings of deputy agriculture minister Datuk Tajuddin Abdul Rahman’s freestyle stand-up set leaked online, Malaysians have been clambering for more from this...
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Najib Quashes Succession Rumours By Appointing Himself Deputy PM
PUTRAJAYA: In a shrewd political move, government sources reported today Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Razak plans to appoint himself Deputy PM to end rumours he will be toppled soon. “It’s no...
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Tun Mahathir’s Council Of Elders Discuss Taking PM To Mordor
RIVENDELL: Today Malaysia’s new Council Of Elders called a meeting to discuss what should be done with the PM in power. “A darkness has enveloped our lands,” said Tun Mahathir solemnly, “one that can...
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Disillusioned With Govt And Opposition, Nation Prays New Star Wars Won’t Suck
MALAYSIA: Today the rakyat disillusioned by the failings of the government and its opposition, confessed to putting all their remaining hopes in the new Star Wars film. “Between the PM’s scandals and...
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Kids say story about political donor not as believable as Santa
MID VALLEY: With Christmas only weeks away, today Malaysian children heard the heartwarming tale of another unseen generous person. “And so just before the last election, this political donor insisted...
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PAS launch own smartphone
KUANTAN: Just days after Umno-branded smartphones made waves at the party AGM this week, PAS today announced their own party branded communications device. “The short message based PASPhone has a...
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Selangor declares public holiday tomorrow for Star Wars
SELANGOR: Just days after commemorating the state’s Malaysia Cup win, today the Selangor government again won over residents by declaring tomorrow a public holiday to celebrate the long awaited...
View ArticleDespite low ratings, Malaysian Politics renewed for 2016 season
MALAYSIA: With the new year just days away, long suffering viewers of locally produced political drama, ‘Malaysian Politics’ today learned the show has been picked up for another season. “Malaysian...
View ArticleAfter benign growth removed, what’s left of PM pledges full loyalty to his...
PUTRAJAYA: Today, the remaining parts still attached to Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak swore to fully support him after a benign growth was removed from his hand at HKL yesterday. “That benign growth...
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